whahaha. todae chi o's. wasnt nervous at all when i left da hse de lor. budden reach sch ah. c everyone panicking. i started to panic. lol. buang sia. hmmm. da exam was alrites lor. shld be able to score bah. haha. ya. den after dat went kbox wif xuan. den nite went expo food fair wif xuan n her family. lol. dere fun sia. though gt lotsa ppl. so squeezy. haha. den c a few shuai ones. whahaha. xuan was practically drooling okay! =X ya. den they bought lotsa things! like no nid money one sia. lol. ya. n i ate lotsa tings oso. v full now. yeah. tml mus wake up earli go sch. haha. gotta go bathe le. nitex! =)

haha. todae ish sundae lo. another one week past. tml mon. chi o's dae. lol. but here i m blogging. aniwae. chi. haha. sao sao. wont fail de la. haiya. dunno wad to write liao sia. shall end here den. buaix. hmmm. all da best to those taking chi o's!! =D

hahaha. latest update of my pic. taken at hum. v bo liao at dat time. so jus take take take lor. haha. 

hehs. todae ish sat. haha. me was at hum whole dae. cos chi o's cuming. sians. kinda revise liao cos copy da shou ce fer candy mi. hand pain sia. hmmm. nth reali happen todae bah. oh ya. i wanna go da CreativeX fair!! buy digital cam. haha. big big sale out dere sia. hope mummy let me buy nor. haha. sure will de bah. she v teng wo. yupps. mon chi o's lo. time flies sia. bu zhi bu jue yi ge duo yue guo le. =(

ya. jus came across tis testi frm him. haix.

[ BaoBei, aka XiaoZhu and Xiao Huai Dan and many many more nicks to come in the long road we have ahead.. haha.. 1st-ly, must thanx u for all the giving ins, the "sacrifices", the love,care,dotes,surprises and everything u have done for me! hehe.. xie xie ni oh.. very grateful and happy to have u by my side, u are such a fantastic partner and soulmate of mine.. love u lots dear.. haha.. all interested guys out there, shoo shoo ah.. haha.. ]

hmmm. another 3 daes jiu shi chi o's liao. haha. shld be alrite fer me bah. yupp. gt back my report bk todae. wah piang eh. fail until jialats sia. 7 subs onli pass 2. heh heh. dun worri. i will buck up de. die die oso mus at least pass nor. ya. i lost my things n i found it back again! lucky me. yeah. it's dat hp hanging tingy. frm HIM. tot i dropped it somewhr. sad until i cry. den rest of da dae no mood. stoned. den i reached hum. i saw it on da table!!!! hahahahahha. but i remembered clearly it was still wif me in da morning de leh. how cum will appear at hum leh? aniwae. can find back gud liao. hehe. =D

yups. todae ish a tue. haha. after so long nv go sch. todae like a bit lazy ah. but sch todae was "sin nang"(easy in hokkien) nth much to do. ya. but chi was boring. almost fall aslp. lol. den after sch gt oral. oh god! sure buang de lor. i was stammering all da wae sia. den er-ing somemore. shit la. haha. aniwae, it's over le la. yepps. den go watch movie wif xuan n yik nian. N GERMAINE!! haha. it's been sooOoooOoo long since i went out wif her sia. ya. enjoyed myself. ya. watched <<>> v v scarey sia. haha. i scard-ed. n i let out a loud scream! hahahhaha. den germaine, xuan n yik nian luffed their heads off sia. i was damn malu lor. =X but it was a nice movie wif nice storyline lor. actuali i expected everyone to be kill in e end de. haha. buddden e ending was nobody except da dog was killed. haha. can sae is happie ending la. budden da hse once again bcame haunted. -.- freaking hell.


ya. sch is back to normal timing liao. haix. den cant chat wif him online le. haix...... sadded sia. frm tml onwards until fri, will be intensive chi all da wae. freaking sia. todae's lesson onli 2 periods nia. i oso buay ta han liao. dunno how to survive ah!!! suan le. chi. haha. will be able to pull thru de bah. ya. mus hav faith in myself. looking forward to 22 nov!! (end of o's)

heys. haha. had quite a great dae todae. though gt lotsa times v disappointed. yepps. met xuan they all late afternoon. budden no space sia. den hav to wait a while. ya. den sing sing sing wif koon n yik nian n xuan. fun sia. haha. ya. den went timah fer pool. -.- tot will be v boring cos me n xuan dunno how to play. budden halfwae they teach. haha. so had a fun time playing pool. haix. saw sth which i shouldnt. hurtx me real loads. haix.

hmmm. todae is daniel's bdae. yupp. stayed up ytd nite until 12 am to wish him happie bdae. haha. ya. reminds me dat time flies. if we didnt break de hua, todae shld be our 3 mths le. haix. den my bdae oso cuming in 1 mth plus time. tinking of how to celebrate it nor. how to make myself so busy wif all e preparation work dat i wont be able to tink of him. tink of spending it wif him. haix. budden oso donno wad mummy will sae abt having bbq n chalet neh. den i oso wan a digital cam!! if mummy buy digital cam fer me den shld be no chalet n bbq bah. den if gt chalet n bbq den no cam. ke shi wo zhen de hen xiang yao digital cam leh. haix. zai shuo bah. hmmm. will ask xuan fer help to organise it bah. shanx.. aiya. she too busy to deal wif me liao. so i shan't bother her er ren shi jie lor. den hui oso da same. ya. candy mi leh.. haiya. bu yao shuo ta le. now onli xuan gt time fer me ya? nt everytime oso la. ask her go out she owaes sae wan to study. in e end oso dunno do wad de.


ytd ask xuan go out. she sae she gotta study fer chi. - . - when she bcum so hardworking de lor. den candy mi. she sae she gotta go temple. fine lor. didnt bother to ask shanx cos her ans is predictable. haix. i've been at hum fer da past few weekends? sian leh! fren.... ha ha.... liddat lor....

hmmm. todae like rain whole dae sia. haha. gud weather to slp. but me wasnt slacking!! i packed my rm. spack n clean now. haha. thanks to da rain la. haha. i go out dat time forget close window. den cum back everything wet. zui xin tong de is da flower he gave. wet oso. haix. but will dry de. ya. now u peeps cum my rm gt sofa sit liao. packed oso. >.<


yepps. 9 daes lata is chi o's liao. ehs. shld be orites bah. it's my forte ma. so i shld be able to survive la. haha. k la. nth else le. shall go watch teebee. oh ya. fever subside liao. recover liao. still gt abit flu nia. so u guys dun worri. =)

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>, "<

wahahaha. v long holi fer me sia. haha. wed cum hum earli. thurs n fri mc. sat, sun weekends. mon public holi! lol. 6 daes nv go sch. yepps. todae cant tahan le. cannot stay hum anymore. so i jio candy mi go eat pizza den go arcade. had quite a great time until she bought triple chocolate ice cream ask me eat. haix. i tot i culd bear wif it. tot i culd keep my tears frm dropping. but i cant. =( as i was eating, everything kept replaying. especially e time when me n him was eating dat ice cream under da void deck. hai ji de dang shi ta xing qing hen bu hao. zai xiang dong xi ke shi you xiang bu dao. haix. i c liao oso xin tong. so i ask him buy ice cream eat. cos he eat ice cream liao mood will betta. dat was da first time i ate triple choco ice cream wif him. n was da last time too. after dat dae wo jiu bu gan chi le. ying wei bu gan xiang qi wang shi. haix. hai shi bi bu liao. to dae is second time i eat. will be da last time until i can eat w/o shedding a tear. ha. todae eat da ice cream dunno is sweet or salty de. chang shi xiang fang qi ni, dan shi zhong zuo bu dao. you shi wo zai xiang, zhe zhong zuo feng cong lai dou bu hui shi wo zai zuo de lor. zhe yi dian dou bu xiang qo de xing ge. dan shi wei shen me pian pian dui ta, wo que gai bian le zhe me duo. haix. wo zhen de hen ben hen ben. ai shang ni shi wo zhe yi shen zui xing fu ye shi zui hou hui de shi. =(

haha. here i m blogging again. nv go sch todae. yup. cos i'm still sick. dun tink will be oing tml oso bah. but stay at hum damn boring sia! nth to do. slp n play com. you shi zhen de hen xiang go sch. haha. ya. i noe i'm insane! k la. nth to sae. haix. he's heartless. dta's all i can sae. wo dao di shen me shi hou cai neng fang qi ta ne? zhen de bu zhi dao.

wakao. jus now update liao com hang. haven post. fine. i shall write again. yeah. slpet thruout da afternoon. cos i'm sick! whahaha. yeah. ya. wo hen sheng qi sia. dat idiot v heartless lor. shuo shen me "guan wo shen me shi". argh! fine lor. be fren be until liddat. - . - tot hear his voice can cure my illness. in e end aggravated it. yeah. highest temp went up till 40.1 degree. hahas. pro ah. ya. went to c doc. 2 daes mc!! yeah. dun nid go sch. whahaha. k la. i go rest le. tired. nitex peeps! =D

hahaha. didnt managed to update my entry in da afternoon. cos was late! haha. was suppose to mit xuan at 12.15 at lot1 de lor. budden i 12 still at hum. haven even bathe! hahaha. but nah mind. she's my sista. she noes y i'm dat late. *grins*


yupp. so i met her ard 1 liddat. saw andy euu on da wae. as usual. wearing da pink polo t. hahas. tot of wearing dat todae. luckly nv. phew! hahas. den go panjang mit jun fer bowling. wakao. hand pain sia. until noe still pain. haha. yepps.


den went to jurong point. (da cursed place) haha. lost my hp dere once. another time was my wallet. but wallet managed to find it back. wahaha. hmmm. den walk ard. para. oh ya. bought PMK tank top oso. n sth else. (shhhh.... i trust my taste.) yeah. den walk walk walk lor. nth betta to do. oh ya! went to eat at KFC. lol. me n xuan was luffing all da wae. n i reali mean all da wae!den go mit candy awhile. pass her tingy. umm. yi qie bai tuo ta le. yeah. den went hum. dat's y i'm here blogging rite. haha. k la. dat's my tues! haha. yeah. tired too. cos my sista passed her flu virus to me after she had recovered frm hers! argh. feeling terrible now. rite. gotta go eat med, bathe n slp liao. haha. nitex.

muahahaha. my latest update of my pic. taken at xuan's hse on sun 15 may. haha. nth betta to do. yupp. watched "hse of wax" todae! freaking hell. haha. damn arse scary sia. me was freaking out in da cinema. disgusting scenes. yuck. flesh peeling off. *puke* 7 bucks to scare myself. wad da hell. dun eva ask me to blow candle again okay!! n dun let me c anything dat has to do wif WAX!! hahahahaha. tml last paper le wor. budden wed n thurs gt prelim oral. oh god. freaks me off again. argh! tot can enjoy liao. 

hmmm. todae was er.. dunno how to sae leh. went to xuan's hse study poa. den go lot1. actuali after dta shld hav dinner wif my family de. cos todae is my aunt's bdae. budden cos of xuan den nv go. yupp. den dunno whr to go chill. xuan wanna go town see hunks but i wanna go harbour front hoping dta i'll c him dere. den we were like see which bus cum first den go whr. in e end 190 cum first. but i die oso dun wanna go up dat bus. lol. den wait lor. in e end we missed da 188. haix. fated cannot go rite? rite. wo ren ming le. den we took 190. den on da bus saw jacky n rui feng! oh my god. heaven is playing a trick on me. i almost burst out crying on da bus. totali buang. no mood no nth. dun even hav da strength to walk. rite. den after dta saw mr beh n family at bukit panjang plaza. den i began luffing all da wae into e shopping mall. damn ass farni lor. at dat moment all troubles gone. den stopped luffing. all troubles came back. freaking hell. k la. except fer tis. nth much liao. buaiix. nitex.

tml gt poa paper!! sure buang!

hahaha. back frm tut. rain heavily sia. holy. drenched? no la. abit nia. took a cab hum. haha. LIGHTNING N THUNDER!! oh my god!. scareded sia. haix. tot of him. he used to cover my ears de. but now i struggle myself. argh! (get dat outta ur mind xindi!) ya. nth else le la. nitex.

woohoo. haha. boring!! realise i changed my bloggie song? haha. nice? hmmm. lata gt tut. siansation sia. haha. i hate weekends ah? ya. cos he nt online. - . - k la. nth to update nor. buaiix.

hahaha. wanted to write tis entry in chi de. whahaha. but v ma fan. so i aborted dat toopid idea of mine. haha. yupps. todae was jus another dae. nth special. but i went to james hse todae. wif xuan of cos. intended to study de. budden me was v restless. haha. slept n eat n play. oh ya. nt forgetting luff! was luffing all da wae sia. v v farni. me n xuan ask james all e same tings. lol. me n xuan reali is sista sia. yupp.


tot of him again. haix. everything seems to be replaying in my mind. 从我们相遇, 相识, 相爱到分离. haix. story starts at 19 feb. met tis wonderful guy, wonderful "tour guide" at RP. rem dat i didnt wan to tok to u in da first place. yeah. cos was damn shy. dun like to tok to guys dat i dunno. ah. budden ya approached us times n again. so no choice!! cum to tink of it reali v farni lor. yupp. den chat wif ya. u showed us ard RP. was fun being wif u. den when u sae u like me dta time ah, i was stunned. real stunned. shocked but happie. hehes. den on 22 feb, dat was da happiest dae of my entire 15 yrs of life bah. haha. we became an item!! yupp. was tinking dat god wasnt dat bad afterall. he let me met u n hav u. at dat pt of time, i was reali hoping dat it wasnt jus another prank dat god played on me. well, didnt tink so much though. reali enjoyed da daes wif ya. trust u dat u will keep me happie every single dae. n ur promise assured me more. haix. gud times didnt last long oso. lasted fer 1 mth plus. nt long i noe. but was eventful. u added colours to my life to make it beautiful, full of life. reali wonderful daes i had. tot dere wouldnt be an end to our story. but it did. story ended at 17 apr. worst dae of my life. ha. most wonderful one oso cos of u. worst one oso cos of u. wad more can i sae man. hen xiang nian na duan ri zi. owaes tink dat u wont leave me. suo yi mei you zhen zhen de hao hao qu zhen xi ni. no wonder ppl sae yao shi qu le cai dong de qu zhen xi. shi er fu de de gan jue shi duo me mei hao de. hahas. suddenly tot of da song "yi shi de mei hao" by angela. yupp. *虽然要等待奇迹的出现有多么的难, 我还是会耐心的等待它的出现* 有句话说: "我相信人间有奇迹, 暮色里也会有七彩的长虹."


alrites. gtg back to mugging liao. tml gt chem paper. hmmm. todae saw ya in msn. budden u nv cum tok to me. hao shi wang orh.

yupps. todae's maths paper was f*ing. paper1 was alrites. budden paper2 was disastrous!!! GOD!! damn arse diff. 2 qns, worth 22 marks together. hahas. i didnt do. didnt touch it AT ALL! cos reali reali dunno how to touch it. yupps. so practically i will fail tis paper la. hahas. you bu shi mei you fail guo.


yeah. as usual. rushed hum after sch to online. but realise he wasnt online at all todae. was v v worried. tot he sick den nv go sch. ask marmi msg him ask abt it but he didnt reply until after a v long time. was too worried. so ask ujin fer help. yupps. thank god. he was fine. absolutely fine. didnt go sch todae cos of e personal profiling tingy. phew. nie le yi ba leng han. xia si wo le. haix. ting dao ta mei shi, macham big stone put dwn liddat. relax. bcos of tis ah, zit tao no mood study. keep wondering wad has happen to him. haix. xiang yao guan xin ta you bu zhi dao yao zhen me qu kai kou. bi jing, xian zai wo de shen fen bu tong le. hen duo hen duo shi qing bu shi yao shuo jiu shuo de ma. yupp.


watched "dolphin bay" wif xuan todae. make me tink of him. rem da first time i watched e show was wif him. at his class' chalet. hmmm. 2 diff mood 2 diff time. xuan made me tink. she owaes nv fail to trigger my thoughts. rem da flower dat he gave me. xuan told me dat ta shi bao zhe yi ge xi huan ta de xin qing qu pei ta mai de. well. i was wondering wad if dat time end up wif him de is xuan instead of me, would da situation be diff now? would i be happier w/o him? or wad? zhen de xiang le hen duo. wo dao di yao dao shen me shi hou cai bu hui qu xiang ta ne?? haix. troubled me fer nites le. pass few nites oso cant slp. dunno y. jus keep tossing on da bed lor. 10 pm go bed. 12 plus den able to slp. slp liao oso keep waking up. wad de lor. slpless nites. dreams of him. sometimes nitemare. cant take it lor. haix. STRESS AH! evrything dun seems to go well fer me w/o u. exams stress. here stress dere stress. i might seem to be strong. pretending nth's wrong wif me. i'm prfectly happie. ha. but hu reali noes me. noes wad i'm tinking. all tis pretendence cant last de lor. somehow one dae i might break dwn. hu noes rite. so as long as i still can take all tis stress, continue all tis pretendence, i will. I SWEAR I WILL!


yupp. mus continue wif my mugging liao. tml gt phy paper. argh. stress again. all dunno. fine. shall try my best. hmmm. wish me luck okay? buaiix peeps.
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heys. todae is mon. haha. mon-strous dae oso. lol. todae's paper was disastrous. combine humanities. f*ing paper ya. didnt study fer it at all. haha. but i did manage to do e ss paper. as fer e hist paper. it was totali buang. aniwae. haha. didnt reali bother me much la. study oso fail nv study oso fail. yupp.

den went to cwp to relax ah. ate at pizza hut. oh my god! dere de pizza hut like shit sia. service no gud. food even worst. worst pasta i've eva eaten at pizza hut man. freaking hell lor. but still force myself to eat it dwn. yepps. sian. den walk ard aimlessly. nth to buy. no mood fer shopping oso. den was chatting wif xuan over da meal. v nice eh. haha. we owaes together but onli meal time den gt chance to hav heart to heart chats. haha. cos onli eat dat time den face to face ma. haha. yupps.

hmmm. frankly speaking. tis few daes ah. me keep wanting go hum as soon as sch ends. if u peeps noe me well, u shld noe y. haha. cos he onli in sch dta time den can go msn. n dat's e onli chance i m able to tok to him lor. yupps. i noe it's silly. but i dun hav a choice. still waiting fer miracle. yeah. tok fer a while. reali a while! tu ran jian mei you hua ti liao. haix. tu ran bian de hen mo sheng. hao xiang cong lai ye bu ren shi ta zhe yang. hao tong ku. =( hei mong yi gin si wui fai d hou la.

heys. yupp. recount on todae's happening. nth much actuali. wake up at ard 11. raining heavily like hell. tot of cancelling e meeting de. budden he plead wif me. so okay lor. den mit him at buona vista. study at e void deck. - . - hehs. v de paiseh sia. haha. weird weird de feeling. luckly onli fer a while. haix. gen ta chu qu. ke shi man nao zi dou shi HIM. haix. zan ge hou xiong koi ah. hehs. realise dat i reali mei ban fa jie shou ling wai yi ge ren. onli wan HIM. nobody except fer him. haix. hmmm. oh ya. todae is fen shou 3 wks liao. time reali flies. reali reali. survived 3 wks w/o HIM. wonder how i did dat. reali wonders. candy mi sae i hav lived tis 3 wks in vain. cos it's all blank de. quite true lor. if i cum to tink how i spent tis 3 wks ah, i will sae i dunno. cos i cant tink of anything. all i could tink of is i v lost. no sense of direction. haix. sadist. =(

heys. todae was er.. how to sae leh. wasted? haha. didnt reali study much lor. mit xuan n candy mi fer brunch at pizza hut. den go arcade play liao den go study. in e library all buang. haha. all no mood to study eh. stare into space n day-dream. hahas. hen xiang ta. xiang qi yi qian ta sho guo de hua. he sae he will pei me study de. but now i hav to study myself. haix. den at pizza hut dere tok tok. MnM peanut chocolate make candy mi tot of windz. den KFC cheesefries make xuan tot of wj. den me leh. triple chocolate cornetto make me tink of him. haix. reali chu jing shang qing sia. den i told them i dun dare to eat even though reali feel like eating. den xuan ask me y i dun wan eat. i oso dunno. dun wanna go tink abt him bah. but xuan sae i scared e previous memories would be replaced. hahas. true eh? i tink so bah. hmmm. den tml going out wif another him. haix. dui ta mei gan jue eh? he chu xian de bu shi shi hou sia. he cant give me security like HE does. jus had a lil tok wif candy mi. she wanna find a guy hu can pei her frm now until they get married liao. she tot it's easi eh? i oso gt tink of tis before ah. already ren ding him as my life partner liao. intended to gen ta yi bei zi le. i tot he was e purfect guy fer me. haix. budden realised dat we can nv predict da future de lor. yupp. well. wad i feel is dat no one can replace him in my heart bah. ta tai zhong yao le. haix. reali reali no other person can tolerate my temper like he do le bah. wanna find another guy like him, so rare, one in a million guy. hahas. reali v v diff lor. hu eva bcum his wife in future ah, sure v xing fu de. but yong yuan dou mei you wo de fen. oops. no no. nt yong yuan. cos dere's nt yong yuan in my dict. shld be yi bei zi. haix. i noe i tink too much le la. but reali wish to be e xing fu one.

yupp. toking abt going out wif dta another him. can sae my ex. yeah. study. mugging. but v farni sia. weird. ehs. dunno leh. he definitely cant give me e security i wan. his temper is nt v gud. he sure cant tolerate my temper de lor. n he's v possessive. scary. haix. dunno how to describe la. shall update tml to tell u peeps how it is. =)

hmmm. todae slacking. hahax. let me recall wad i did todae ah. eh. oh ya. went to take back my wallet after sch todae. e auntie reali v v gud sia. haha. lucky me. den after dat dunno how to go hum. intended to take cab de. budden xuan wanna ask me save money. so we went to take bus. so qiao gt shuttle bus to Jp. haha. so we take lor. on e wae so scary sia. we didnt noe whr e bus will lead us to de lor. den jus take liddat. me scared driver take us go sell ah. lol. den after dat go hum!! den bathe le cum out again. go pizza eat. yummy! *licks mouth* den still earli lor. so we go para. after dat still gt lotsa time! intended to walk to timah de. lol. bo liao. den had lotsa chocolates todae sia. nice. yum. k. end here. nites peeps. =D

yupp. continue frm jus now. suddenly feel like eating triple chocolate cone. haix. but dun hav e guts to eat it. cos i noe eat liao sure will tink of him de. how we use to eat ice cream when we r sad or bad mood. haix. hen huai nian sia.

wahahahaha. intended to write tis entry wif a v foul mood de. haha. budden suddenly bcum gud liao. lol. cos jus now i lost me wallet at JP. cant find it anywhr!! gt alot of precious tings inside! gt priceless pic. n all e movie tickets. but luckly, gt tis v gud auntie picked up my wallet. den she jus called me!! ask me go collect. wahaha. gt kind soul in tis world! suddenly shi er fu de, den will realise how impt it is to me. phew. everythings back to me. che le ni.

hey hey. nth much. haha. jus testing tis hello programme nia. will be posting me pics v often now!! lol. haha. =D

hahaha. nth betta to do. tis pic nice eh? lol. taken at genting. outside first world hotel. xiao de hen kai xin wor. haix. wo xiang shi mei you ji hui zai kan dao le. hehe. me now taking a break frm my studies wor. du dao hao xin ku sia. midyr liddat liao. ha. wonder how to survive my o's ah!!! i nid god to give me strength. reali looking forward to yr end sia. after o's. den can do wadeva i like. go chiong. go shopping. play whole dae. wahhahaha. dat is den life man. real life! 

hohoho. tml start of midyr lo. siansation. mus study study study. tinking abt exams you rang wo xiang qi ta. cos common test dat time he pei wo du guo mei yi tian. haix. *slap myself awake!* yupp. starting to fang kai le. cos i we can choose to live happily or nt. fang kai le jiu hui happier lor. but oso mus c whether fang de kai ma.
sian. keep having headache nowadaes. dou mei you yi ge ren guan wo de si huo. hell man. well, i can take care of myself (i tink so). cannot oso mus can la. na li you na me xing fu, gt ppl zhao gu. haix. k la. me end here liao. tou hen tong hen tong. nitex ppeps. =D

haix. shi jian zhen de guo de hao kuai orh. so fast 1st may liao. jing tian ye shi wo men fen shou 2 wks. sometimes reali wonder how i can pull thru tis 2 wks man. haix. zhen de hen xin ku.

thirty. april .2oo5
hmmm. firstly in da morning. went to find shan. den go to our hse dere de mac eat n study lor. study chi. do alot of tys. quite alrite lor. at least can concentrate a lil. den ujin came. dunno y c him den will remind me of HIM. den start to mood swing liao. mood buang. but i dun tink they 2 gt realise bah. in their world of their own. understandable. we use to do dat too. hmmm. den study until abt 4 plus liddat they sae wan go watch movie. den ask me wanna go anot. i sae no $$. den ujin sae he blanja lor. i dun wish to be de lightbulb de. budden wo zhen de bu xiang yi ge ren. so go wif them lor. but most of e time i oso leave them alone. me will walk on my own. xiang zi ji de dong xi lor. eyelid twitch until v jialat. e last time it twitched is when he asked fer a breakup. now is de same eye. reali scared sth will happen to him. *prays* they c me xin qing bu hao. ujin ask me wan eat ice cream anot. i sae dun wan. den he ask me wan eat chocolates anot. i oso sae dun wan. cos when i wif him dat time bu kai xin de shi hou jiu shi chi ice cream n chocolates de. triple chocolate ice cream. haix. hen jiu hen jiu mei you chi le. den last idea he gave. go arcade fa xie xin qing. den had a race of daytona. was actuali da last. budden overtake shan at e last min. haha. ke shi xin qing hai shi yi yang zao. den i go para. after dat hand pain. mood still same. cant stand it. den nth to do liao. still gt some time b4 e movie starts. den walk ard lor. den in de movie i brokedwn. cos it reminds me of how he use to ask me wan baobao anot. cold anot. den scared can go find him. haix. but i was alone ytd. thruout de movie. though shan sae i can hold her hand if i'm scared. but it's so farni lor. she wif ujin den suddenly gt one hand pop out. wo mei you zhe yang bu yao lian okay. so i pretend i'm nt scared. dun nid anyone to accompany me de. but xiang qi zhe xie, tears jus roll. haix. zhen shi mei yong. den after de movie go hum. intended to walk hum myself de. budden they bu fang xin. so walk behind me. den i cry lor. candy mi call. den i tok to her n cry at e smae time. looking at e sky. can c lotsa stars. shining so brightly. so beautiful. xiang qi yi qian again. everytime walk hum wif him den happens to hav no stars at all. den wheneva i walk alone or wif other ppl den will hav de. zhen gao bu dong wei shen me. cry while looking at all e stars. den sit dwn at my hse dwnstairs cos dun wish to go up so earli. den cry on shan's shoulder. shld be ur shoulder de lor. haix. ku wan le cai shang qu. hen sian. everything oso will make me tink of u. yao wo zhen me qu zuo shi. shen me dou zuo bu liao. at mac, shan said sth. which is reali reali true. "ujin zai ben lai jiu shi yi ge cuo wu." cos ujin n HIM is v v alike. i can e HIS image when i look at ujin. same wae of toking. same wit. same action. haix. bu dong la. den at nite e chong dong to msg HIM. so i did. n i said crap. ming zhi dao jump dwn will die i still wanna jump dwn go song si. in e end reali si diao liao ah. HE tai ren xin le. yi ju "wo men hai shi peng you". enuff to kill me. haix. bu shuo le. shuo xia qu my hse gonna bcum swimming pool liao lor. yupp. shall stop here. but actuali still gt lotsa ting keep in here (pointing to my heart). zhi shi bu fang bian jiang chu lai ba le. hai you hen duo hen duo. wan to tok oso cant. candy mi oso gt her own prob. xuan gen bu yong shuo. she was nv dun hav prob de. as fer shan leh. she oso dun understand. ha. HE ytd sae if i nid listening ear can call or msg him. he tink he god or wad ah. nid listening ear oso nt him lor. all my probs dou shi ta. he dun expect me to call him den sae how much i miss him how much i care fer him n he dwn dere hear me cry fer him rite. he reali v farni lor. or i shld sae naive. bu zhi dao. hen duo hen duo de bu zhi dao.




*// blue`xindi *//
*cries*